Absinthe

Okay, SO I guess I am a little bit late on this but apparently absinthe is legal. I have waited all my life to try this stuff, and now I have the chance. Although I am a bit scared. The New York Times says "The word comes from the Greek apsinthion, which means undrinkable." Now thats all fine and dandy but what kind of undrinkable do they mean. Is it destroy my liver and kidneys undrinkable? Or is it vomit uncontrollably undrinkable? I'm guessing a bit of both but either way I gotta try it. The US would never let a substance that is volatile to a persons health ever hit the market... unless it makes a substantial amount of money.

I wonder if its better than tequila???

We'll see.

Carpe Diem

Today is the day I move out. I always thought this would be the day that I was fully prepared for but sadly it is not. I'm taking a huge risk by going to an area I've never lived in and looking for a job since I'm currently unemployed.

Though I will admit I am way less prepared than I always hoped. I am extremely excited. I have so many things going for me. The most important being the support of my friends and family.

"One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time" -Andre Gide

No matter how long it takes or how hard things get I will not fail

Long Distance

There are two very important things that a long distance relationship should teach you:

The first is that you can live without that person and do great on your own. The second is that you would never want to.

A love hate relationship

Hate is defined as to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest. The word can explain how people feel toward specific issues in life whether they be people, political, or racial issues or pretty much anything.

I have felt this way about many a few issues or types of people in my life but I have just come to the realization of why. No matter who or what you hate it all has a direct correlation to how much you understand what you hate. It may be a justified hate, but it still has a lack of understanding with in it. By justified hates I mean people who are directly or indirectly hurting you or someone or something you care about. i.e. murderers, rapists, thieves

When bad things happen and you learn to hate someone or something you tend to think "I don't know how or why this would happen". Its the lack of understanding that leads to the emotion of hate. For this reason, whether it be extremely hard or not, who or what you hate is completely under your control.

This theory of mine has lead me to believe that the feeling of love which would be the polar opposite of hate is the result of complete understanding. I find that I love the people who I can understand the most and who can understand me.

Since I am a left brain type of person I like to break everything into some sort of equation. Is the level of understanding coupled with something else (maybe comfort?) equal to the Level of Love/Hate?

The Land That I Love

I hear people complain or rejoice depending on what side of the coin they are on about this whole affirmative action thing we have in America, but quite frankly I don't think its done much of anything. I mean yeah it gives people some minorities jobs but they aren't taking them away from white people. I haven't noticed a surge in minority accountants or VP's or any important positions. What I see is more minorities in the mail room or janitorial services or other crap jobs.

So I don't think this is really giving a "fair" playing field as the government has said was their goal. If anything I think this affirmative action should scare the crap out of illegal immigrants. Now that business owners have to have a certain number of minorities to fill EOE requirements, illegal immigrants will have to get fired because they can't be on the books.

Now these people have to find worse jobs that nobody else wants to do. Some of these other countries must be unimaginably horrible for people to sneak over here, to be unwanted and taunted by most of the nation, work 16 hour days (20 on holidays) making $2.50 an hour to go home to their 1 bedroom apartment in the basement by the boiler room where they have about 10 other family members living.

As I am with any large group that I am a part of, there are things that this country does that I am not proud of, but I'm glad I'm American.

Steps in the Elevator

I hate to start off like a modern cliche of a Jerry Seinfeld joke but, whats the deal with people and elevators. the whole mix just doesn't work, one person on an elevator is fine, but when there are multiple people it becomes utter chaos. This is a 4 step process that I am guessing unless you suffer from paranoia like me you wouldn't notice this.

The first step is pressing the elevator button. This may seem simple until you get close to an elevator button and there is a person also going toward the elevator button from the opposite end of the hall. If you are closer you think "I plan on going up, but should i press down in case the other person is going down, i don't want to seem like a dick for not simply helping someone out by making them walk an extra distance just to press the up button." But then you think "If i do press the up button for them and they aren't going up their will more than likely be a crowd of people who get to this floor and no one will get off when the doors open. The will just peer at me thinking "that asshole just wasted my time by making me stop on this floor for no reason." And then you must weigh your options. Do they have a coat on cause if they do they are probably going outside which is down too, Do the look hungry cause they may just be going to the cafeteria. So all that crap just leads to the initial stress.

The second part is getting on the elevator. Most people go for the normal rules ladies first, then the person closest to the elevator gets on in distance order. If you are gonna have a tie you let someone go first to be polite and usually the first person to say go ahead or make that gesture wins the courtesy game. The thing that makes this step the worst part is some people don't follow the unwritten rules. They say you go ahead mean while you are 30 feet away and they are standing right by the elevator and you get their just in time to miss the elevator and have 5 minutes of awkward silence until the next one comes along.

Then being in the elevator is step number three. For this part you must realize that 99% of the time whatever floor you are going to, everyone else in the elevator is going to get off before you and slow you down worse than the bus running local. And don't think about anything else besides being on the elevator. There is to much at stake. You make a mistake and start thinking about what's for dinner or the bastard who made you miss the first elevator and you are going to miss your stop. IF YOU MISS YOUR STOP ACT CASUAL. Don't just try to hit the button really fast hoping the doors will open back up. people will tend to think you are crazy.

The fourth and final part is getting off. Most of the time it is simple like the second step. But beware of idiots. People don't seem to realize that they're are other people sometimes trying to get to the floor that they are in fact leaving. not everyone can afford to work 4 hours a day and leave at 1. So what they do is stand right in the middle of the doors on their side and rush in to get on the elevator with no regard of who is getting off. And these people may flash a smile to say "sorry I didn't see you trying to get off the elevator" but what they are really saying is "ME FIRST" and the smile is just so they don't push you into going postal. When this happens there is nothing left but to trip and hit as many buttons as possible and leave flashing the same crap smile.

That was the 4 step process of riding the elevator. The next time you see a person twitching in the elevator because of their nervousness and ambiguity, print this out for them and let them know they are not alone.

American Gladiators

Now while the concept of this show is amazing because it allows the regular guy who didn't get their grown spurt until after high school football to still compete in a "sport" and get paid for it. I pretty much need a chance at this show because I am the guy I just explained. Hopefully this writers strike holds out so people don't realize that the show consists of about 20 minutes of filler, 20 some odd minutes of commercials, and only about 15- 20 minutes of actual competition.

What did the gladiators do before this job, and for that matter what will they do after the show? What kind of job do you get after putting "I was an American Gladiator" on your resume? You are pretty much guaranteed to lose your real name for the rest of your life. If you met Nitro or Turbo you aren't gonna be able to call them John or Chris or whatever their names are. "Hey Nitro could you collate these papers for the 2:30 meeting"

If this show last I'm gonna be a kick ass contestant because I get to do two of my favorite things. Hurt people and get hurt. It makes you feel alive to to get hurt and dominant to hurt them.

I don't think i would ever want to go against that guy Wolf though because he scares me. He really looks like he could be one of those guys in the book Deliverance that says "squeal like a piggy."

Success is for everyone

Another thing is I cant catch a cab in my own city. It used to be funny when comedians said it and I thought hahaha black people, cabs, hilarious. But its fucked up when you are running late for work.

For the same reason I hate filling out the EOE (Equal Opportunity Employer) info on job applications. It says it wont be used in hiring you but i don't believe that. I got a phone call from 4 jobs since I stopped filling that crap out.

I was always used to think that all the crap about people being treated unfairly was just people looking for easy money by winning lawsuits. The "because I'm black" phrase was just an easy way out. But I think a lot differently now. I'm not saying that every incidence is because the person is a minority, not even majority maybe. But it is gets hard sometimes to figure out why you are being treated differently.

I was hired for my job as a temp, and I was a little green, but I came to work on time or early every day. I worked hard and did my job pretty well. I was told that if everything worked out within 6 months I would be offered a full time position. In this 6 month period 3 people were hired, all white. Maybe Its just cause my resume wasn't good enough, but two of the hired people had just about 6 months more experience than me.

I'm not saying I wasn't hired because of my race (though I have forced myself to push the thought out of my mind) but I can understand how people in some situations can feel that they are being treated unfairly. Sometimes you just cant figure out why you didn't get what you deserve.

The only reason I don't believe I am being treated unfairly because of race is because I refuse to believe that I am forced to fail due to reasons beyond my control. I believe every person gets what they want. They just have to want it enough. This is how I will succeed.

Monster

So yea, I created a blog. Why would I create a blog? Is it to communicate valuable ideas about my life to others? As of right now, no. This is basically so I can rant about things and no one can interrupt what I'm saying.

Everyone has the urge to one up the person explaining their story. I know its been said before but dammit it needs to be said again. I'm tired of it. You go to tell a friend a story.... "Yesterday I was riding a horse on my grandpa's ranch in PA and the horse was bit by a snake, bucked, through me off in a spin so I broke my arm, it was so painful". But then after you tell your story the other person has to tell the worse story and say "last week i was playing tag in a meadow and I was struck by lightening". why do people have the need to make they're shit so much better than yours.

And what ever happened to Mr. Cooper. I liked that show, it was mildly entertaining. It had the best intro song too. The lady was singin all hardcore "COOOOOPER!"

Imagine, every person with a computer can put any thoughts on the internet for the world to see. And I have a small piece of the internet. They have created a monster.